BEWARE: HML INVESTMENTS
NMLS # 1202436 | DRE # 01954763
Before jumping into things, I gotta remind people why I smoke cigars . . . . .
There is no fucking with me or fucking around in business, or you lose a finger tip. So let’s get this ball rolling shall we? I’m about to dump my ash on a few bums for the community. Maybe even plummet some stock, I really don’t care to be honest.
This is going to be in three brief parts, and will include some media, for educational purposes, to advise to never give THESE clowns the opportunity to sell you their money, find someone else. There’s better managers out there, I PROMIS ;)
The Intro
Shortly after being shoved into a role I wasn’t entirely mentally prepared for, at the firm I was working for, remotely, I had to instantly start getting my shit together, 12-16 hr days, snapping up out of bed to schedule emails I needed to send the next day, after working all day, then waking up 4 hrs later to be back at it because I was deep in it and finding my way to getting a grip on this roughly half billion dollar pipeline, that I truthfully had very little idea about at the time, as their ‘status’ within our system, or the ‘stage’ was improper due to a massive lack of notation, editing, and an ease of tracking/pinning down files. (our CRM was booty cheeks, I will admit, it was meticulously built by the owner, but he paid me shit and implemented a bunch of ideas to make his CRM better that I gifted him - regardless, there was a ton of holes, he invested a lot of time and he has a long track record ~20 years, but his focus seemed spotty, but he does deserve some flowers 💐 BUT lemme say real quick:
DealNav is 1000% sexier in every way. (coming soon via Acquisizioni - don’t fall asleep at the wheel, invest in the kid, upon release, if you’re demo worthy, demo it - DM The Man).
Continuing, as I was trying to get a handle on our massive pipeline, after we fired the child (who’s my age) that was being shady af, had email forwarding set up to a personal email? (How the owner let this go unnoticed is beyond me but he caught it and fired him, cont,).
He had stinky commission breath…🤮 and swindling behavior to match . . .
In the midst of beginning to gain a grip on our now two man debt shop, with the phone ringing non-stop, one of the deals that needed immediate attention was a Cannabis Industrial Warehouse acquisition, some real modern day Edward Lewis shit.
This deal required immediate attention, needing a term sheet within the week to keep their PSA alive. I shift my focus and get to work immediately after our phone call, in the midst of doing so, and cranking out impressions on X in a past life, I got followed by someone named “CJTheLender” who works for a hard money lender, HML Investments.
Before getting in touch with him, I researched the company he worked for. The owner runs a YouTube, Hard Money Lions. Which if you spend a few minutes browsing their YouTube or even CJ’s Instagram, you’ll realize that this is a company that pushes their self interests before the interests of the borrower. They’re obsessed with making money off of you. They claim to be reputable and trustworthy, but their advisors will say they can’t do a deal then block your number and social media (more on this).
I’m not completely stupid, I went to their website, saw their offerings, and my deal fit ‘their box’ at that time. They no longer advertise the ability to do ‘Cannabis’ but when I reached out to them, it was clearly on their website, which has undergone some major changes (and still looks like shit).
Their strike zone on CRE Bridge was $250k-$10M and this property was being purchased for $6.7M, right in their backyard essentially, exactly 1 hour and 24 min from the owners primary residences doorstep ;).
I was ready to slam dunk this ball and get this deal done, KOBE!
After seeing I have a deal that could work based on their online criteria, I reached out to CJ (1st mistake). We discussed the details verbally and he liked the deal. That was great news given that I was pressed against the clock. So I sent over my clients confidential documents (2nd mistake), including financials and general deal docs, enough for a term sheet to keep the deal alive. I wanted to ensure he was able to quickly produce an assist for me to turn around and hit this game winning buzzer beater. Instead, he asked me to send it to an email that did not have the ‘@hmlinvestments.com’ (though my memory of that on company email is blurry, could be mistaken, anyways).
I would’ve presumed someone that is representing this firm would send me information, preferably some sort of quote, hard or soft, while I moved forward with the scheduled appointments for that day after mine and CJ’s brief discussion. I decided to send over a text a couple hours after we spoke, in which he responded that he actually felt like the deal might not work.
This was a huge change in character from our first discussion and it made me feel weird inside, because the company was publicly saying they could do these types of deals on their website, so WTF is the problem, gimme MORE FEEDBACK.
Why do I suddenly feel like something shady is happening with this file, that I am responsible for, containing sensitive client information that I wouldn’t want spilled into some random persons hands. I confirmed CJ worked there prior to sending him anything so it was bizarre, this clearly was NOT a fake account either.
Anyway, I ignore it because I have a dozen++ calls to make that day and I’ll try again that afternoon. This is where part 2 comes / /
Panic
I rounded out my schedule of discussing current and new deals with our internal advisors + 3rd party brokers, who utilized our company’s resources and we’d split fees.
This was the average daily occurrence for me then, on top of running the whole squad from Zoom (our advisors / brokers paying subscriptions to us that I saw none of recurring).
I wasn’t worried about much then, just making sure lenders saw viable deals, and stacking those packages nice and sexy, to get them over clean for quick decision making. That’s why I thought HML Investments behavior was super peculiar. (this is what I get for going outside our approved network for a special purpose asset).
Looking at what was still remaining before close of business, I decided to give CJ a call. Immediately, my call rings once and goes to some automated message. Weird. Usually on ‘do not disturb’ you go right to voicemail and you call again right away to get through, so I went ahead and did that . . no dice. Same single ring . . . . . . same message.
Clearly, this dude has blocked me. So I send the text above to confirm it “Lol” and that text does not deliver. Blocked 100%. 🖕🏽
So I did what any crazy MoFo would do, I called the VP, Jonny Crosthwaite, and asked politely if CJ is actually a representative of the company (as they do not list their bottom of the barrel scum under the ‘team’ section but I’d already verified with another lady). Jonny then confirmed CJ was a fiduciary representing their company. After I got that answer, I went in on him, grilling, saying something along the lines of ‘if he’s a representative of yours, then why the fuck did he block me after I sent a client’s confidential documents?’ Crickets... He tells me he’ll figure out what’s going on and if he needs to assign me to another rep, he will.
Anyway, to cut this section shorter but apply how I’m feeling, immediately after realizing I released these sensitive documents, my heart falls out of my asshole. Complete plummet. What am I doing? Is it because I haven’t been sleeping? wtf.
So, the question on everyones mind, who the fuck are these people? I went ahead and dug around some more today, for you beautiful CRE readers.
I don’t care who you like to hangout with, but I don’t put myself around people like this. Only people of excellence, or no one at all. So enjoy these audios from THEIR content, and the rest of the scum exposé to come.
Owner/Operator opens the audio by saying “I might be expensive but I give value”. The next voice you hear is CJ saying ‘these guys aren’t here to party party’
well no shit, they’re at a networking event, who TF does that?? They do, you can tell in the video I pulled this from that they’re less than cautious with the open bars. Love to party type people.
The rest of the audio doesn’t mean much to me, but another Owner/Operator quote for the gang ‘if she’s not there the party’s dead’? HOW BOUT CLOSE MORE DEALS?
They don’t know shit for CRE, they get lucky once in a while and close some random idiots loan. Based on their “Closings” on the site, they’re all piss poor and lack luster performance.
I’m never the life of the party, I’m the one that stops the party and everyone listens.
I don’t want to grill dude too heavy, BUT I DO TOO. So one more Audio.
“I mean, me personally, I listen to motivational videos on my way to work”
DO YOU HAVE NO SELF DISCIPLINE AT HOME??? I listen to Toxicity by System of a Down before I walk in the building to prepare to plunder you BUMS DAILY.
“Like me personally, I want to do my own personal fix and flip" We get it dude, you ONLY give a fuck about yourself. blaah blaaah blaaaah, do it then bitch.
This guy doesn’t even want to be a lender. How stupid do you have to be to trust someone who is basically half-assing their way through a job, hungover probably, stoned maybe, on the way to work, listening to some mental masturbation bullshit, just so he can fuck off again, and do the same shit tomorrow. Don’t trust these type of IDIOTS with your shit.
How are you going to fund your first fix and flip? With the commissions from a $6.7M deal that you stole? Was that the plan?
Because it’s going to take you a long time to fund your own fix and flip based on your closing track record.
Not to mention, Jonny, the fancy VP. The rest of the audio is him . . . . .
Who do you know, that excels in RE/CRE Lending say “You’re not going to figure things out, especially in SALES just by reading books”
Tell me you haven’t read since high school or college, unless required to, without telling me. Can I be any more embarrassed for HML Investments??? Actually, I can be. One sec. Hold my beer.
CAN YOU BE ANY MORE CLEAR THAT YOU ARE HERE FOR ONLY FEES?
OH MY, BUMMY FRAVDS; KEEP SERVING YOURSELF . . . COWARDS.
My one crumb could’ve made your DAMN YEAR, at this rate😆. No wonder ur weird.
PUT THE CORONA DOWN AND LEARN TO DUNK THE BALL LIKE ANTHONY
AND MAYBE YOU’LL GET SOME RESPECT MR.$1.095M IN CLOSINGS SMFH
I WAS RUNNING LAPS ON YOU BEFORE I COULD EVEN LEGALLY DRINK IN PUBLIC - WTF IS YOUR EXCUSE . . . ‘UHH, UHH’ HEADASS MF, OH WAIT . . . YOUR MENTORS RIDICULOUS TOO, DUHHHHH
These are the same @’s, right????? I’m not mistaken?!?!?!
WHY TF DO 13 OF YOU FOLLOW HIM? I’M ABOUT TO UNFOLLOW YOU.
Just wait . . . I understand why you’re like this, the owner/op. is weird AF too . . .
YOUR LEADER IS BUMMING IT THRU PERSONAL BRANDING, DUH; I’M STUPID AF FOR EVER SENDING ANY OF YOU SHIT. ‘HML INVESTMENTS’;
I mean really bro, an i8 BMW, fully wrapped with your shitty ass branding. Love the ‘peace’ signs and absurd shades of blue attire. Tell me you have no taste or class some more please, I LOVE IT.
Helicopter ride along the coast of California, your local region? SICK AF BRO!!!!!
YOU MADE IT! Tell Mom, It’s Time to keep running these fees up on clueless ass borrowers and pretend we’re FUCKING LIONS, ROAR 😹😆💹
THANK YOU, HML INVESTMENTS, FOR SHOWING THE ENTIRE COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE INDUSTRY WE CAN’T TRUST ANY OF YOU . . . STICK TO 1-4 UNITS, I MEAN DUDE COME ON . . . WHAT’S COMING NEXT?????
You’re so creative you literally extended an industry wide known acronym into your company’s name, no wonder you drive a fucking BMW i8 . . . Honestly, I have a 2001 Audi A6 2.7T that’s literally sitting motionless in my driveway, awaiting repairs and once I drop a new turbo in her, get her to stage three (thanks to my boy Wilton in MI), I’ll happily drive the 1000+ miles non-stop to meet you out on PCH.
Any car you have, let’s go.
I’m there to see Jamba Juice, my fam, some homies, and throw gravel all over your windshield while I dust your ass with my dog in the back seat and my honey by my side. Better start looking at upgrades now, the clock is ticking on your ass whooping.
Don’t play around now Mr. @ RazItUp - you on that weak shit with CRE and you can’t call yourself a lion. I’m the LEO, your game makes NO SENSE TO ME.
I mean WTF IS ON THE NMLS ON YOU, HOE?????
I’ll just give direct links cuz i’m not reading this bozo’s docs but either way, you’re conditionally a bum ass MF since 11/09/22, and much earlier than that I bet. Be a better leader and not the gum on my sneakers plz. I got more bozos to fuck up.
Sorry not sorry, get your shit together, Jonny don’t deserve that, or maybe he does. And the industry hates guys like you, we want you gone - I’m the idiot for not looking your shit up on the NMLS before engaging with you bums. AND GUESS WHAT?
YOU THINK I’LL EVER MAKE A MISTAKE LIKE THAT AGAIN?????
I have to wrap this up before I start seeming like I’m gossiping instead of spitting straight facts thru X/DroolCRE.com, or berating too much, I’m just absolutely sick of this type of shit. The wake becomes a tsunami, when you don’t learn to surf, get wrecked, kid. I pity you.
CONCLUSION
This is a real ass whooping fellas. You wanna chew on someone and spit em’ out? AND SPIT ON THEM? Cause I just did that shit, I do not care. Any day of the week, I’m willing to spank people, but I usually pick them up after.
Even these disgraces I just spit on. The only time I’ll consider picking them up, is when they get done licking my spit up. Otherwise, stay on the ground. I pity you.
Get your shit rocked and quit your fuck shit.
I hope every team member you have sees this shit. AND DECIDES TO LEAVE TO A BETTER COMPANY. 🖕🏽 YOU.
You think I wouldn’t show you the way without showing you exactly what not to be in this game??? There’s a duality in this field and if you’re like these coachroaches, someone like me is going to come in with the RAID and crush your ass into oblivion.
Now for all of you, come on baby, you know I love you, hope you enjoyed today’s show.
Now let’s walk away from this complete ass whooping, and heal the toxicity within.
Hope you’re as fired up as me, go crush those bums against thee, Muah 💋
