Hands Out
Pockets Empty
Drool - help me.
I’ve gotten this line a few times in the DM and it’s ironic because it comes from people that likely exceed me in age. Often times, it’s difficult to know what to say. The best way to give perspective is to share the ways I’ve sought to help others but been misunderstood.
Petty Management
Early in my 20’s - I was offered the opportunity to work with my best friend as his manager. At this time, I was originating a lot of fix and flip loans for investors and had decent liquidity for my age. Nothing crazy but enough to be abundant, taking care of myself well. Given my professionalism, it seemed like, on the outside, I was someone who could really help. The issue with this dynamic was the spiral it befell.
Over the course of the years of ‘managing’ my new ‘client’ - there wasn’t a dollar I made. It wasn’t because we couldn’t make money or that he wasn’t personally, I simply couldn’t take money from someone I loved like a brother. This also developed into a terrible tragedy at the end of our relationship, that being losing the friendship all together.
We come from similar backgrounds, so anything you read in my disses (Drop a $50M Bag & Back to Back) was more reflective of me dissing my own cells in the mirror.
The reality of the situation towards the end was I was acting out of character and falling for traps laid around me. I was dumb and depressed having gone through a lot of issues in a relationship that should’ve ended much sooner. As a result, our relationship became more bloody. I hadn’t known at the time since there was no confrontation being directed from the other side. Instead of confronting on my own with my own frustrations and issues with what my artist was doing, I neglected handling business appropriately.
In my head, money could solve everything. Off I went, instead of helping my artist in the present, I sought to make a nice stack of cash so I could financially back him more than anything. This didn’t change the past or the behaviors I had committed. All it did was drive more stakes into our relationship. Why? Because I hadn’t communicated.
While I was staying firm on my intention and fighting the ideas of my old boss, who put ideas in my head that these guys are losers and just want to get rich quick. . things were going south nonetheless. Once he planted a seed in my head, it started to morph into all I could see.
Through the lyrics, the behavior, the antics . . . money wasn’t going to solve these things. Which led to our demise. Me falling for lies. From someone I barely knew.
Since then, it’s been difficult for me to lend any helping hands. I don’t give money out like I used to. I don’t spend time with friends like I used to. I went back inside and shut everything else out. I turned my back on the people that were there and instead, went and hit the stairs to take my own life vertical.
24 Transition
It took me time to get to more of a mamba mentality. Confidence is a hard thing to develop and hold, especially when it feels like people try to keep you below them.
Once you realize that it is your choice to let them keep you below, then you can start fighting for air and build the tools you need.
Within the past year, I can say that I’ve been there for people that needed me - if not me in particular, at least the words that were flowing through me. The blog helps me feel that and so do the people I help in real life.
More than anything, having a stable household with an abundant mindset and with a wifey with a tenacious work ethic - it’s pushed me out of my comfort - into the right circles. After being lonely from friends, I went online and proved I wasn’t friend worthy…once again. Blowing out multiple new found relationships quickly as mentioned in Volatility. The irony that I went Volatile immediately following that post is even more of a rise in comedy 😆.
With my rebirth over the last 12 months, a lot has changed but what’s changed for me the most is my support systems. Seeking out proper guidance and mentorship, learning to trust myself and build confidence. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m ready to hoop again and not scared of the defense. Which is critical in the NBA.
The thing to remember is you can always dribble yourself back in the lane. Stay shooting shots and you’ll be okay.
Much love - drool🤤