REsuming in Falsetto
Singing to the Birds
The irony of life is the constant challenges we choose.
Yes, we choose our difficulty level in life. Let that sink in…
Unfortunately, when you’re choosing to do some of the hardest things in the world, you have to be extremely diligent with the company you keep. People have little awareness of what goes on with your state of awareness when they are blocked with their own challenges. This is totally fine, they have their lives and you have yours. The issue for me comes when people attempt to infiltrate my life without my approval.
My real estate ‘attorney’ for example - infiltrated my relationship with my beloved through his own concern for my wellbeing. Not sure when I asked for help? I’m still waiting for him to respond after I roasted the fuck out of him. He’s been friends with me for longer than I’ve been with my present partner, yet he chose to backstab me.
She would argue that he has my best interests in mind, but again I will remind the world publicly… WHEN THE FUCK DID I ASK FOR HELP? WHEN DID I SAY I DIDN’T HAVE THINGS UNDER CONTROL?
I have the most stressful career in the world. That career has multiple careers compounded into one life. How am I supposed to live my life when others are being anchors at my feet? If I’m drowning because others choose to place all of their body weight onto my shoulders unintentionally, then I am forced to compromise to terms that make no logical sense to me.
I’ve spent my whole life running away from mediocrity. In doing that, I’ve been forced into medioCRE relationships. I’ve had to run from women and men. I’ve done this either with my actions, with my words, or with my behaviors. Every time I’ve had a difficult time, they’ve thrown me into a behavioral health facility so at the end of the day - I have one true enemy: the system. I leave prescribed meds that do next to nothing for me personally. They make me lose more control then they give me. They harm my body more than they help it. I know how to take care of myself. I’ve spent my whole life learning how to take care of myself with a single mother who had multiple diabetes issues throughout our youth and two younger sisters that rely on me to provide.
I spent my most recent frustrations on punching the screen on my Audi till it was broken to bits and my knuckles were bruised / borderline bloody. I was so fucking pissed at the situation I’m dealing with that I was about to smash my tennis racket into the ground at the indoor facility. Instead, I drove my Audi 80MPH in a 35 all through a main road in town at 5:30AM - ultimately wrecking it into an electrical box as my brakes failed taking a corner at 65MPH. I walked off the scene unscathed, I was even wearing no seatbelt. Yet, I held onto the steering wheel as I slid into the fate of destroying my passenger side door.
I am the least give a fuck person at this point in my life. So remind me wtf is going on outside of this body because I am good and well everyday.
With Love, Have A Week Full of Drool and Abundance.
